When you grow up in a home where alcohol and drugs are part of everyday life, it can be difficult to avoid being pulled into a generational cycle of addiction. It becomes your normal, what you know, what surrounds you. And too often, it’s intertwined with mental health struggles and abuse, making substances feel like a way to numb or escape the pain.
That was the reality for today’s guest on Grieving Out Loud, Toni Handboy. Her childhood was shaped by trauma and loss. She experienced abuse, and her parents were often absent because of addiction. She was eventually taken from her grandparents and separated from her Lakota roots, moving between foster homes before later ending up in a juvenile detention center.
During that time, Toni says she battled depression and suicidal thoughts. In an effort to cope, she turned to substances, continuing the very cycle she grew up around, as her addiction began to impact her own children.
But Toni’s story doesn’t end there. While many struggle to break free, she has overcome that generational cycle and has now been in recovery for nearly two decades. Today, she’s not only rebuilding her life; she’s helping others who are facing the same battle.
In this episode of Grieving Out Loud, Toni shares her difficult but powerful story, what finally led her to seek help, and the message she hopes reaches those who feel trapped in addiction.
Related episodes:
Growing up in the shadow of addiction
She Promised It Would End With Her—Then It Didn’t
Dr. Sophie Two Hawk on Healing Native Communities from Addiction and Trauma
MEET THE GUEST
Toni Handboy
Toni Handboy is a licensed addictions counselor and member of the Lakota community who has dedicated her career to breaking the cycle of substance use disorder in Native communities. With a background in social work and decades of experience in recovery coaching, youth programming, and tribal health coordination, she has worked alongside organizations including the Oglala Sioux Tribe and the Great Plains Tribal Chairmen’s Health Board. After nearly two decades in her own recovery, Toni brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work, helping others find a path forward from addiction, trauma, and generational cycles of harm.
